


Water(melon) You Doing?

by FantasiaV



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Cute, Fluff, M/M, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 07:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasiaV/pseuds/FantasiaV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saturday shopping: Roderich wants bargains and Gilbert wants many, many things--particularly the things relating to watermelon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Water(melon) You Doing?

“We also need a new shower head...” Roderich sighs. The cart's wheels squeal in protest as Gilbert complies and sharply pulls back to aisle six.

Like any other Saturday, the store is incredibly busy--mostly because of the tantrum-prone kids forced to tag along with their parents--but busy nonetheless. And with the holiday season rapidly approaching, there was no worse day to go shopping. 

Gilbert drums his fingers on the cart's handlebar. It's sticky and he immediately regrets offering to take something handed to him by a seven year old. 

“Gee Specs, I don’t think we have any coupons for that.” 

It’s meant to be sarcastic, but Roderich actually nods and considers the horrifying no-coupon factor.

“I’m sure I can find a good sale, or at least hassle some poor employee into giving us one.”

Gilbert snorts. The only times better than when Roderich is a terrible, unabashed cheapskate is Roderich _knows_ that he's a terrible, unabashed cheapskate.

“There’s one--a little left of you.”

“Half the store is on the left of me," Roderich rolls his eyes, but scours his left anyway. His brows furrow first in deep concentration and then in annoyance. "That really narrows things down, thank you show much darling.”

“I meant the short, tired looking guy. He should be easy enough to get something out of, right?”

Roderich laughs. “Everyone is easy enough to get something out of if you know what buttons to press.”

Terrible, unabashed cheapskate Roderich truly was the best. “Hell yeah! Now go get that discount.”

Roderich disappears into the crowd, as in literally disappears--he's swallowed by the rushing sea of people moving in and out of aisles. Every so often, Gilbert can make out the bob of brunet hair, weaving its way determinedly to the poor salesboy now apologizing for knocking a senior to the floor. He’s spilling “sorry” after “sorry”, practically begging the old man not to press charges. If anything, Roderich makes his grand entrance as some sort of hero--helping the senior to his feet and settling the conflict. He’s smiling and laughing with the two of them, but his eyes hold that familiar glint of danger. Roderich Edelstein is going in for the kill, er, discount.

Gilbert really couldn’t care less about their conversation, and turns back to the aisle six, the shower aisle. It’s a little surprising how many amenities they make for scrub-a-dub time. Loofahs, shower curtains, shower caps, shower rods, bath salts, and the like are spread throughout the shelves. Some of the products seem stupid at first, but then brilliant and revolutionary. Gilbert throws a floatee into the cart. Normally he wouldn't, but this one is guaranteed to let the user safely read books in the bath. He then adds a carpet that’s supposed to change color when wet. Next comes a 100 piece rubber ducky set. Yes, it is all completely necessary--at least that’s what Gilbert initially thinks.

The next few items loaded onto the cart are what Gilbert dubs “the greatest life decisions of all time since the dinosaurs and possibly even before that”. The catch? Every single one of them is watermelon themed. There’s bars of watermelon soaps, watermelon covered shower curtains, watermelon shower decals, watermelon soap holders, and so much more. Gilbert has no idea why so many watermelon products exist, but he doesn’t question it. He confirms that it’s all absolutely necessary when he finds rubber duckies in watermelon costumes and another floatee to eat watermelon on. The floatee actually comes with an attached emergency raft bowl to spit the seeds onto! It’s brilliant. It's the pinnacle of human achievement. And when Roderich returns to the cart, crestfallen because a pathetic salesboy can’t negotiate standard company prices, Gilbert has the only cure to grumps and frowns.

Unfortunately Roderich’s ailment seems to have mutated to resist such an ingenious cure.

“We’re not buying that” comes the resolute response.

“Okay, okay, I’ll take a few off," Gilbert reasons. He is, after all, very reasonable and particularly adept at finding the perfect shower products. "We don’t need the shower curtain if we can just stick decals to the one we already have, right?”

"The answer is still no." Roderich shakes his head. "Help me put these back on the shelves." He seems to want to laugh, but holds back because he knows he shouldn’t encourage Gilbert; God forbid he tries to make the rest of the house watermelon themed!

As if on cue, Gilbert wedges himself between Roderich and the cart, his arms splayed over the watermelon collection in some bizarre display of fealty to stupid bathroom collections.

“NO! You can’t!” He’s shouting loud enough for several shoppers to hear and turn in mild curiosity, and then quickly look away in second-hand embarrassment. Several of the parents try to redirect their kids away from the aisle as if Gilbert's stupidity was contagious. Or at the very least, as if Gilbert was setting some sort of heathen example via unholy amounts of watermelon.

“Gilbert,” Roderich speaks through gritted teeth. “People are looking. Put these back. Now.”

“No. Never.”

Roderich can’t understand why Gilbert’s suddenly acting so childish. Alright, so maybe he’s usually childish, but this is by far an all time low. Gilbert doesn’t even spend much time in the bath; he showers, and quickly at that. This sudden want of bathtub products doesn't make sense. Unless... 

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t let you try the watermelon froyo samples yesterday.” Roderich hopes that that’s the reason Gilbert’s acting this way. Because if it isn’t, he honestly has no idea what else to do. Normally he would leave Gilbert at the store and drive home, but today they took Gilbert’s car. Meaning that Gilbert has the keys and that there was no way out other than through him

“Sorry’s not going to cut it,” Gilbert hisses. “They came with the sour patch watermelon gummies! Specs, you know how much I love sour patch!”

“Yes, yes I know and I’m sorry.” Roderich can’t believe that he is apologizing to a grown man for not letting him eat candy a day ago. “I was in a rush.”

“Sorry still won’t cut it.”

At this point, Roderich just wants to leave the store. The kids have begun resisting their parents once more, begging to stay and watch the “weird young guy who’s already greying” and the “snappy teacher looking guy” argue about a cart filled to the brim with watermelon merch.

“Okay, how about this: I’ll buy you a pack of sour patch.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. So stop acting like a child and let’s go home already.”

Gilbert grins broadly. “Now that’s more like it!” He pulls the packet from behind his back and Roderich groans, knowing that he’s been tricked but there’s no way to back out now. “That’s two dollars and forty five cents.”

“It’s two dollars and forty five cents?” He repeats incredulously. “More like two dollars and a complete rip off.”

“Hey you promised me!”

“I know, I know. We’ll pick up a pack from the dollar store. I’m pretty sure you can get twice as much as this.

Gilbert finishes putting the items back on the shelves and the salesboy sent to reorganize the merchandise fall to his feet, grateful that he doesn’t have to take care of the carts’ themed monstrosities.

Once the last item (a heavy-hearted 100 piece rubber ducky collection) is put in its place, Gilbert sternly turns to his sighing boyfriend.

“We have to get watermelon flavored gummies though.”

“Naturally. After all, I don’t want to see you becoming water-mellow again.”

**Author's Note:**

> yes i finished w a pun, fight me


End file.
